Romantic comedies, or “rom-coms,” have long been beloved for their heartwarming plots, quirky characters, and feel-good endings. However, beneath the laughter and charm, these films often promote unhealthy relationship norms that can distort real-world expectations about love. From glorifying jealousy to normalizing emotional manipulation, rom-coms sometimes send troubling messages about what constitutes a healthy relationship.

The Myth of “The One”

One recurring theme in romantic comedies is the idea of “The One” — a perfect soulmate who completes the main character’s life. Films like Serendipity and Sleepless in Seattle suggest that destiny will bring true love, no matter how unrealistic the circumstances. While romantic, this notion can be harmful. It may cause people to overlook red flags in the pursuit of a “perfect” partner or to abandon relationships that require work and compromise, expecting love to always feel effortless and magical.

In reality, healthy relationships are built through communication, mutual respect, and effort—not just serendipitous encounters and grand gestures. The idea that love should happen easily or be “meant to be” can leave people feeling disillusioned when real relationships face inevitable challenges.

Stalking and Persistence as Romance

Many rom-coms portray obsessive behavior as endearing or romantic. In Say Anything, Lloyd Dobler’s relentless pursuit of Diane is depicted as charming, while in Love Actually, Mark’s silent confession to his best friend’s wife is framed as touching rather than inappropriate. In these stories, persistence is often rewarded, regardless of personal boundaries or consent.

This romanticization of persistence can send a dangerous message: that ignoring someone’s rejection or crossing boundaries is acceptable if it’s done in the name of love. In reality, respecting a person’s wishes and boundaries is fundamental to any healthy relationship.

Jealousy and Possessiveness as Signs of Love

Rom-coms frequently present jealousy and possessiveness as natural parts of love. Characters often compete for affection or express outrage when their love interest dates someone else, reinforcing the idea that jealousy is an indicator of deep passion.

However, in healthy relationships, trust is key. Excessive jealousy and possessiveness can lead to controlling behavior, emotional abuse, and a breakdown of trust. When audiences internalize the message that jealousy equals love, it can lead to tolerating toxic dynamics that are damaging rather than romantic.

Changing Yourself for Love

Another troubling trope is the idea that people must change themselves to earn love. Movies like Grease show characters undergoing major transformations to fit their partner’s ideal. Sandy’s shift from wholesome girl-next-door to rebellious bad girl suggests that altering one’s identity is necessary for romantic success.

This theme undermines the importance of authenticity in relationships. Real love should be based on acceptance and appreciation of a partner’s true self—not the version they present to meet someone else’s expectations.

Conclusion

While romantic comedies offer entertainment and escapism, they also reinforce unhealthy relationship norms that can affect how viewers understand love and partnership. By idealizing persistence over consent, jealousy over trust, and change over authenticity, rom-coms sometimes promote toxic ideas under the guise of romance. As audiences become more aware of these patterns, there’s growing demand for love stories that celebrate healthy, respectful, and authentic relationships—without sacrificing the magic and humor that make rom-coms so beloved.

Hollywood has long held the power to shape cultural ideals, especially when it comes to beauty, passion, and desire. Through the lens of the camera—often referred to as “the cinematic gaze”—films construct images of love and attraction that both reflect and influence societal norms. From silver-screen sirens of the past to today’s blockbuster romances, Hollywood continues to mold how we perceive what is beautiful, desirable, and worth loving.

The Power of the Gaze

The term “cinematic gaze,” particularly the “male gaze,” was popularized by film theorist Laura Mulvey in the 1970s. It refers to the way visual media often portrays women from a heterosexual male perspective—positioning them as objects of desire rather than as complex individuals. This gaze dictates not just how women are shown on screen, but how audiences are encouraged to view beauty and attraction.

In classic Hollywood films, actresses like Marilyn Monroe, Ava Gardner, and Rita Hayworth were styled to represent a narrow and often sexualized version of femininity. Their looks, body language, and wardrobe were carefully crafted to satisfy viewer fantasies. Men, on the other hand, were often portrayed as powerful, emotionally restrained, and in control—fueling a very specific dynamic of romance and desire.

Defining Beauty Through Film

Hollywood has long presented a narrow standard of beauty—typically white, thin, able-bodied, and conventionally attractive. This standard has been so pervasive that it shaped public perception across generations. Actresses and actors who fit this mold were more likely to be cast in leading romantic roles, reinforcing the idea that only certain types of people are worthy of love and desire.

As a result, audiences have internalized these beauty ideals, often measuring themselves against the polished, idealized images they see on screen. This has contributed to widespread issues of body image dissatisfaction, particularly among young viewers. While modern cinema has made some progress with more diverse casting, the mainstream romantic narrative still often prioritizes traditional standards of beauty.

Portrayal of Passion and Romance

Hollywood also plays a significant role in defining how passion should look and feel. Romantic films typically highlight intense, all-consuming love stories—marked by fiery chemistry, dramatic conflicts, and sweeping gestures. This can create unrealistic expectations about relationships, making viewers believe that true love must always be passionate and dramatic to be meaningful.

Films like Titanic, The Notebook, and Fifty Shades of Grey have all contributed to the glamorization of romantic obsession and emotional volatility. While these portrayals are cinematic and emotionally gripping, they don’t often reflect the stability, compromise, and communication that healthy relationships require in real life.

Shifting the Lens

In recent years, there’s been a slow but growing shift in Hollywood. Films and series like Moonlight, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, and Past Lives have begun to offer more nuanced, inclusive portrayals of love, beauty, and desire. These stories present romance through a broader lens—one that embraces different body types, cultures, sexualities, and emotional experiences.

Conclusion

Hollywood’s cinematic gaze has long shaped how we see beauty, passion, and desire. While its portrayals can be powerful and emotionally compelling, they often promote narrow and unrealistic ideals. As audiences become more aware of these influences, the demand for diverse, authentic, and emotionally rich stories continues to grow—challenging the traditional gaze and expanding what it means to love and be loved on screen.

Reality television has long been a guilty pleasure for audiences worldwide, but its influence extends far beyond entertainment. Shows like The Bachelor, Love Island, and Too Hot to Handle have redefined modern romance, shaping how people perceive love, relationships, and courtship. While these shows present grand gestures, passionate connections, and fairytale endings, they also distort reality, creating unrealistic expectations about romance.

The Allure of Reality TV Romance

Reality dating shows thrive on the fantasy of finding love in a glamorous, high-stakes environment. Contestants live in luxury mansions, go on extravagant dates, and experience whirlwind romances—all under the gaze of millions of viewers. These shows create the illusion that love is an instant, dramatic, and highly competitive process, where passion and chemistry trump everyday compatibility.

Audiences are drawn to the drama, the emotional highs and lows, and the seemingly effortless romantic connections that unfold on screen. For many, reality TV provides an escape, allowing them to vicariously experience passionate relationships filled with romantic gestures they may not encounter in their own lives.

Unrealistic Expectations of Love and Dating

One of the biggest criticisms of reality TV romance is its failure to reflect real-world relationships. Many of these shows condense love into a few weeks, creating the false notion that deep connections can be formed quickly and without much effort. In reality, successful relationships require time, communication, and compromise—factors often overlooked in the fast-paced world of reality dating.

Additionally, reality TV often promotes an idealized version of romance, where grand gestures—such as helicopter rides, candlelit dinners, and exotic vacations—are seen as proof of love. While these moments are visually stunning, they set unrealistic standards for how love should be expressed. In everyday life, love is often shown through small, consistent actions rather than grand, Instagram-worthy gestures.

The Role of Drama and Manipulation

To keep audiences engaged, reality dating shows frequently introduce drama, love triangles, and emotional conflicts. Producers often manipulate storylines, editing footage to enhance rivalries, betrayals, and heartbreaks. While this makes for compelling television, it distorts the true nature of relationships, making love seem more like a game than a genuine emotional connection.

Contestants are encouraged to compete for affection, reinforcing the idea that love is something to be won rather than nurtured. This can lead to toxic portrayals of relationships, where jealousy, manipulation, and emotional games are normalized as part of the dating process.

The Impact on Viewers

For many viewers, reality TV influences their own expectations of love and dating. Studies suggest that frequent viewers of dating shows may develop skewed perceptions of romance, believing that love should be instant, dramatic, and filled with constant excitement. This can lead to dissatisfaction in real relationships, where the everyday challenges of love—such as communication, compromise, and emotional vulnerability—do not match the high-stakes drama seen on screen.

Moreover, reality TV often promotes unattainable beauty standards, with contestants typically fitting a narrow mold of attractiveness. This can impact viewers’ self-esteem and shape their perceptions of desirability and self-worth.

Conclusion

Reality TV has undoubtedly influenced modern romantic fantasies, presenting love as a thrilling, high-stakes adventure filled with drama and passion. While these shows offer entertainment and escapism, they also create unrealistic expectations about relationships. As viewers, it’s important to separate fiction from reality and recognize that true love is built not on spectacle, but on trust, effort, and authenticity.